“The holidays can be a hard time. Pressure is on, money is tight, relatives are…alive. At least you can always count on your trusty pup to be on your side when the going gets tough. Or can you? If the rest of your family is dysfunctional, why wouldn’t your dog be too? After all, you raised him to be the little fur ball he is today. And now you get hit with the therapy bills. Look, not everybody can be the dog whisperer, okay? We all make mistakes. If your family is straight out of Jonathan Franzen novel, here are 10 ways your doggie will destroy Thanksgiving.”

I may be more proud of this listicle than anything I’ve ever done in life.